Whisper
by MissMCQueen
Summary: After the loss of his other half the real Bakura is finally beginning to discover himself, but can he cope with what he finds. Angst.


I know this is a bit different from my previous Yaoi and humour attempts. It's mainly composed from a bunch of crap I managed to spill out onto paper. This thing took bloody ages to write, stupid writers block, though it felt more like my brain had evaporated.

I have no idea whether this makes sense or not, but I had nothing to lose by posting it.

I'm not really into song-fics, you have the lyrics, but half the time nobody knows how the hell the song goes.

Ryou is refereed to as 'Bakura' and Yami Bakura as simply 'the spirit'

**Summary:** After the loss of his other half the real Bakura is finally beginning to discover himself, but can he cope with what he finds. Angst.

* * *

_Catch me as I fall  
Say your here and it's all over now  
Speaking to the atmosphere  
No one's here and I fall into myself  
The truth drives me into madness  
I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away _

Don't turn away  
Don't give into the pain  
Don't try to hide  
Though they're screaming your name  
Don't close your eyes  
God knows what hides behind them  
Don't turn out the light  
Never sleep never die

I'm frightened by what I see  
But somehow I know that there's much more to come  
Immobilised by my fear  
And soon to be blinded by tears  
I can stop the pain if I will it all away

Don't turn away  
Don't give into the pain  
Don't try to hide  
Though they're screaming your name  
Don't close your eyes >  
God knows what hides behind them  
Don't turn out the light  
Never sleep never die

Fallen angels at my feet  
Whispered voices at my ear  
Death before my eyes  
Lying next to me I fear  
She beckons me shall I give in  
Upon my end shall I begin  
Forsaken all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end.

**Whisper By Evanescence**

For Ryou Bakura the experience of being truly alone was completely foreign, yet at the same time uncomfortably familiar. Before he revived the ring he was accustomed to only ghostly silence day in day out. No mocking, no tautening, not twisted affection. But one becomes used to such things, and to have them suddenly disappear almost felt as though a part of him had disappeared a long with them. Leaving behind a giant void that could not be filled.

It may have been pleasant in the beginning, to have his life return to normal, to be able to carry out the same mundane routine he had so long ago. But it was the normality that began to bother him, after being part of something so large his normal life began to seem rather…..dull. Nothing compared to the fate of the world, did it?

But did he miss the spirit that had once shared his body?…. Bah, of course not. What he truly missed was the company the spirit had to offer, even if he was deranged and crazy at least there was another voice other than his own.

Yugi obviously didn't share his view on life. It was evident that he missed the spirit of the puzzle, but he still had his duelling career, his friends, and the endless challenges that were yet to come. But for Ryou, he had long faded out of the spotlight and into the background.

Of course the endless absence of his father did not help the situation and his feeling of loneliness.

It was as though he meant nothing to no one.

And even sleep greeted him less and less.

After a while the endless void in his mind was filled by a new voice. Yet this one did not belong to an evil spirit that wanted to plunge the world into eternal damnation. This voice was his own

_And it was laughing _

It was mild to start with, the occasion whisper in his ear like a breath of air. A tautening laugh every time he made a fool of himself. To start with Bakura assumed the spirit had made a return, after all, one of the first things the sprit had told him was that he would be his host for _eternity._  
But then maybe it was too much to hope for. After facing months of horrid stillness the prospect of the Thief king's return seemed slightly appealing.

In truth the voices may have horrified him if they hadn't made such a pleasant change from the eternal silence. Ryou had been raised in house with noise. Children laughing, his mother in the kitchen, the sounds of the busy street outside. The silence only reminded him of what he no longer had, and would never posses.

_Had the soul stealer experienced voices in his mind? had he been led to madness by whispers in his ear? _

Maybe it was brought on by his inability to feel as he once did. Pain, sadness, joy, anguish, they all meant nothing, and they felt non-existence. It were as if the spirit had striped them also and left him with nothing more than a numb sensation. That's all he was now, a numb vessel without a sprit, a body that had been bled dry.

What ever happed to the happy young Ryou Bakura? The boy who played with his sister and smiled all day long?

The answer was simple, they killed him.

Amane took a piece of his soul with her when she left him. So did mother, and father took more every time he went away. And if that wasn't enough the thief stole what was left and dragged it down to hell with him. 

The voices were laughing again. Reminding him that in the end, everything came back to the Sennen Items.

For Yugi the spirit of the puzzle had been there to guide and strengthen him. Protected him against those who tried to harm the boy on his quest for the Sennen items. Yugi mourned for the spirit as you would for an older sibling, missing him, yet happy that the pharaoh had finally found eternal peace.

In the time of the spirit things had been so black and white. Whatever it did was bad, therefore the opposite was good. Ryou had lived by that example and his life had been simple. But with the sprit gone Ryou was slipping into the grey.

His first doubts came when he found himself in a brawl with another one of his class mates. The other boy had obviously picked him for his frail build, and the assumption that he had money. Unlike most of the bullies at Domino High he was not overly powerful, and they were similar in hight and strength. Bakura stood a fair chance at defending himself.

But he had always associated acts of violence with the spirit. Pain and torture had always been his specialty, while Ryou believed it wrong to bring any form of pain to others. He would rather be the one suffering anguish than to see others hurt.

On the other hand why shouldn't he fight back. If the stupid bastard was foolish enough to pester him, why shouldn't he knock the retard's lights out.

And so Ryou came to a decision, and the other boy had a bruise to remind him of it.

But that wasn't enough, was it. Defeating the boy gave him feeling of power, but that soon faded and was replaced with the familiar feeling of numbness, which soon turned into guilt. In the end he went and apologised, only to be met with a fist in his gut. He was back where he started, only this time he felt worse.

It raised an interesting question though…….Why was it that he was forever incapable of being anything more than what he already was? To be more than just a lone soul falling in a spiral of mystery and heartache?

Maybe deep down he was afraid of being happy, afraid of not being the miserable little boy he had always been. When one becomes so used to sadness the prospect of joy seems too unreal. 

They were still laughing.

Unlike him the Thief king held no regret. If he desired something he only had to reach out and take it.

But then again, it was best not to think of _Yami no Bakura._ After all, it was best not to use him as an example, or to act like him, or to _become_ him for that matter.

But as the days wore on the real Bakura was beginning to remember less and less about the deadly spirit that had once been apart of him. It was as though the Pharaoh and the Sennen items were a distant dream that was slowly fading. There was a possibility that he would some day forget them entirely.

His relationship with Yugi-tachi was also beginning to fade as he slowly began his plunge into solitude . Less people talked to him once they discovered Ryou was never listening.

_'They won't stop' _

_'Shut up!' _

_'Yami, please come back and deliver me from this madness.' _

And so he lay, sitting with his back against the wall. Knees up against his chest, head resting upon them, knife in hand. The blade reflected the light from the window above him, sending the reflection dancing over his apartment walls as he lazily twirled it in his right hand.

Without issuing a sound the white haired boy slowly let his knees slide away from his torso. As he raised his head he tore his gazeless eyes away from the carpet and to the knife in his hand.

It was time to feel.

**-Owari-**

* * *

Yes I know it was fairly short but that was about as much crap that I could spill out. 

**Missq**


End file.
